It was bedtime and of course we went upstairs to discover that the kids had been recreating the set of Apocalypse now. Operation tidy up time commenced. Rachel had accidentally pulled Abbie’s curtains off the wall that morning. Daddy put them back up. There were some colourful metaphors involved.
Then he gave us the talk “kids, the curtains aren’t a toy. Be careful with them please. I don’t want them pulled off again. The next person to pull them off the wall in going to be in serious trouble” I know I will be the next person to pull them off the wall. I’ve already done it twice.
I’m also a bit tired.
Hysteria kicked in.
I couldn’t laugh out loud because that would involve explaining myself and I tend to find these things funnier that my hubby.
Tidy up time sorted, I walked in to Rachel’s room to read her a story. As per most kids her age she has a tonne of cuddly toys at the bottom of the bed. One of them has a tail, and on this occasion it’s tale was in the air. The reading light was on, shining through the tail, and casting a shadow on the wall …… and that shadow looked just like a penis.
I start laughing hysterically.
Rachel starts laughing. Then she asked me why!
I so desperately wanted to share the joke with her. She’s only 6 but she’s so incredibly mature. Whenever Rachel asks questions about things such as ‘what’s a period’ or ‘where do babies come from’ I’ve always tried to be honest. I don’t want to hide these things from her because I don’t think it’s healthy. Can I share a penis joke with her yet? Can I turn to her and said “it’s looks like an enormous knob!” Daddy is in earshot – will I get away with this?
I will if I whisper!
I utter the words “you have to promise not to tell anybody.”
Well now she’s on tenterhooks. She’s up on her knees, looking into my face, ready and waiting to hear what I have to say next.
“It looks like a banana!” I say.
I can’t share a penis joke with a 6 year old! Did you think I could? Yes, I once sang ‘this is the way we wash our bum’ during here we go round the mulberry bush but that’s fine!
Turns out that I didn’t need to share the proper joke with her. She found the banana joke just as funny as I found the penis joke. Infact she was so hysterical with laughter that it took me ages to get her to calm down and go to sleep. She the recreated the joke for her sister the following day.
The banana joke is a hit and is now told to everyone who walks through the door. I look forward to the day I can tell her the real joke. She’ll probably be a teenager and not find it remotely funny.