For those of you who don’t know what the coin came out of, the answer is Abigail’s bottom and you should probably read this blog first.
Done that? Marvellous. Then I shall begin.
Just incase you didn’t Abigail swallowed a coin last week, I had thought a 20p piece. We dashed to A&E where the X-ray showed that she’d swallowed a pound or, more alarmingly a small round battery. The latter was the main concern of the doctor and it was this that he wanted to rule out. He quized profusely. Finally, happy that it wasn’t a battery, and being told by Abigail that it was a pound coin, he settled on it being a pound and we left it there. I went home to figure out where the hell the pound had come from?! I was sure she’d been playing with a 20 pence piece.
I have spent 10 days being nagged by a 4-year-old to see if there is a pound coin in her poo, and whilst the doctor told me that I needn’t bother checking, the parent inside me that ‘can’t have favourites’ just couldn’t let it go. After my eldest daughter swallowed a pound coin we found the offending article 6 days later (thanks to Mrs Patel and her sterling efforts) and it now rests, tarnished, in a Links of London box with a label detailing the date in and date out. We plan to present it to her husband on her wedding day during the ‘Father of the Bride’ speech so that she might experience some of the embarrassment that I felt taking her to A&E for such a stupid condition.
How can I not create a similar box for baby no. 2!
Ten days later and there was still no sign of a tarnished pound, so hubby and I came up with the cunning plan of faking it. Not unlike the tooth fairy I guess but at the other end. The ‘Poo Fairy’ to coin a phrase!’ I’ll stop.
The morning came and hubby had a pound coin burning a hole in his dressing gown pocket when he got the call – “Daddy – I need a poo!” For once he’s pleased!
Plop! It’s done. The Poo Fairy delivers a pound. The nagging stops.
But the poo is so massive it won’t flush! Honest to god it looks like a stag doo has popped by and borrowed the loo!
“I reckon that one has the coin in it” I say to my husband.
“And I reckon we have a bigger problem because look at the patio. It’s flooding from that drain. That drain is blocked!”
And what do you know – the drain just outside the downstairs loo has blocked. The Poo Fairy Strikes again!
We have insurance for this kind of thing (obviously my husband organised that) so we called up and had to wait three days until the man could come. That meant we couldn’t use the loo for three days – so there the treasure sat, waiting to be found. Finally, on the Monday, drain unblocked, I flushed the loo and….
…there was a 20 pence piece.
I KNEW IT! IT WAS A 20 PENCE PIECE.
My first reaction is “I am a good mother!” on the basis that I could identify the coin that my child had swallowed ahead of medical science. The fact that two of my children have now swallowed coins in incidental. I am the best. I am booking myself into Champneys to celebrate!
Everything small has been thrown in the bin. My house is devoid of anything other than massive furniture. My kids will have no fun until they can take themselves to A&E or they’re doing it on somebody elses watch. Everytime they put anything anywhere near their mouths 20 adults shout “DON’T SWALLOW THAT!” I suspect we won’t have a third trip to A&E for stuff swallowed.
On to the next drama!
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SARAH CANTRILL is a woman on a mission to inspire every young child to become a reader for pleasure. She is the Artistic Director & Founder of STORY STORKS, a social enterprise that delivers interactive story workshops to early years children and their grown ups, that help kids to fall in love with stories and develop their early language skills meaning that they have an easier time of learning to read when the time is right. Infact 85% of the kids who come through STORY STORKS are right where they should be or ahead in terms of progression through the reading book scheme once they get to school and the ones who are behind are trying hard because they know that it’s worth it – that to read is to unlock a whole world of fun and adventure and learning and imagination and they might take a bit longer to get there but they’re determined that get there they will.